Dating 101 - How to tell if a guy is serious or wrapped up in the thrill of the chase

We've officially reached the age where everyone is either having babies or getting married. Many women are trying to get on board with either of the two but for some reason they always fall for the wrong guy. You know the ones I'm talking about, the guy who just wants some cootie cat, the mooch, the couch potato, the ambition-less, the woman juggler... the list goes on and on. Telling the difference between a guy who's seriously into you and one who's caught up in the moment is not always easy. Why, because some men are scandalous? Seriously, some men will do or say damn near anything in the beginning stages. Look at it this way, to some men there is a very small gap between "nice to meet you" and "intercourse," closing that gap can be a goal that they chase after with a vengeance. They may get carried away and act like you're the best thing walking, only to lose interest or show their true colors as soon as you give it up. But hey, if you're just looking for sex, then do you, but if not, how can you tell if a guy is right for the long-term?

THE WRONG TYPE OF GUY - THE - CONSTANT TEXTER - PRE DATE


It's a great thing when a guy isn't afraid to communicate and get in touch, but if he hops into constant contact before you've even met him, it's no bueno. You see, these men think they're slick. He'll start texting you ten times a day, and attempt to occupy your time too quickly. This is a CLEAR indication that he's trying to get some. As women, we get comfortable and emotional; by him creating a romantic fantasy via text message helps you feel like you're more "romantically connected." Simple things like cute little good morning and good night texts, the "I can't wait to see you" texts, or the "I loved the picture you posted on IG, you're so beautiful" texts. By the time he finally sees you, you feel like you've already been dating him for a while. Am I right or what...

Exactly. 

A man who honestly wants to be in a committed relationship with you and is ready for a partnership doesn't need to push like that. The guys that wants to be with you wants to interact with you in PERSON. Every interaction shouldn't be with a cell phone in your hand. #RememberThat

On the first date... #MissionOne 

Some people believe that first dates are supposed to be super chill and relaxed, and they're right in a sense, but it is also the MOST important of the dating stage. By the end of that date you will know whether or not you're compatible with that person based on their likes, dislikes, and opinions of monogamy and relationships. In some cases (depending on the flow of the conversation) a guy will have an HONEST MOMENT. This is the most important part of the conversation. Why? His likes and dislikes about relationships will be expressed, this is the portion of the conversation where he might say something along the lines of  "I don't believe in love" or ' I'll never get married." If these are things you are looking for now you'll know exactly where he stands. No need to waste time...He's not the one for you. Now, I'm not saying that everything he says before or after that moment is a lie, it's just your job to pay attention and LISTEN to what he's saying without any interpretation of your own.

Most of the time people hear what they want to & when shit hits the fan no one knows what the hell is going on. Had you been paying attention in the beginning stages of your dating process then you would have known what to expect. LISTENING IS KEY. If you're both on the same page, and looking for the same thing, you've successfully completed mission number one.

This goes without saying but, if you enjoyed the date and would like to see him again; express that. There is nothing wrong with showing a bit of appreciation - and you can do that with your clothes on... mhum lol. Letting him know that you've enjoyed yourself is a great indication for a second date. If you're bold enough to ask him out then go for it, if not and the date went as well as you think it did, he'll be back.

Dates 2 & 3... #MissionTwo

Do you want to be courted? Pay attention to how long it takes for him to reach out to you. If the first date was good, he will definitely contact you. If you want to see how interested he is, just wait.

Now I know some of you are going to try to cut my head off about who should text who first BUT, if you cut off a man's ability to chase you by chasing him, then how will you know his level of interest? Trust me, if he likes you he will be emailing you, texting you, and trying to lock you down for another date.

THE WRONG TYPE OF GUY - THE -"LET'S HANG OUT AT MY PLACE GUY...MHUM




If you're looking for a serious relationship this is the man you should steer clear of. Listen, if he is really looking for a wife, his main intention won't be to just sex you up real quick. You should be able to make it through at least two or three dates without getting naked. If not, then nine times out of ten he just wants some ass. Remember, if he just wants the nookie, the content of your conversations will be sexual. Some men are bold enough to ask you sexual questions right away, others will insinuate. Some will invite you to dinner and then invite you back to his place. I personally wouldn't go to some man's house whom I barely know. Baby steps...

TIP: In order to steer clear of sexual situations and or conversations - participate in outdoor activities i.e. restaurants, walks in the park, coffee, etc.

4th Date & so on...#Mission 3

If you've managed to score three successful dates then kudos to you! That means by now you're officially being courted. He's making plans, following up, asking specific questions about you, etc.

Now is the time to check or search for compatibility.

You can do so by asking certain questions such as, "where do you see yourself in five years," "do you consider yourself a jealous person," etc. A clear indication that he just wants the cootie cat is if he responds to most if not all of the questions while referencing your body in some way shape or form "You're so sexy, "your body is amazing," "your ass is fat," etc. What that has to do with the questions you've asked I have no idea - if he insists on talking about what he likes sexually before you sleep together... watch out. Despite the conversation, he will ALWAYS find a way to slip sex into the equation. Why? Maybe at this point he feels like he's working too hard for it. If that's the case one of two things will happen, either you cave and give it up, or he slowly disappears.

On the flip side, men who are actually interested in seriously dating someone will talk about important things, like his goals and future plans. Men who are interested in getting married will definitely express that. If he's taken you out numerous times consider yourself a contender, these type of men DO NOT WASTE THEIR TIME.

Keep all of this in mind while you're man hunting.
Good luck Divas!

- Sassy ' N' New York 



Images: (giffy)